Computer dating jokes

(More) All these jokes are now illustrated at my new Programming Comic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Software Development Cycles , reason 0 being that he has limited cache. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.” At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. ENTER: Northerner talk fer, “C’mon in, y’all.” CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock your gun. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.” The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries.

This term may also refer to two or more people who have already decided they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other.Help Desk Callers Helpdesk Rules Helpdesk Log Help Line Loser He Said, She Said Him And Her His And Her Diary Holiday Feasting Tips Holiday Schedule Home Remedies Horror Movie Survival Hospital Message Hotel Slogans Hotel Translations Housekeeping Tips How Cold Is It? How They Have Sex Hunting Dog Husband Program I Idiots Everywhere If You Love Jesus If You're Non-Religious Important Emails Impotence Sayings Impotence Slang Inanimate Gender Inspirational Posters Insurance Debate Internet Addict Internet Axioms Internet Withdrawal Into The Future Investment Guide Investment Terms J Job Application Job Descriptions Job Interviews Job Jokes Job Wording K Kid in the Dark Kitchen Signs L Landlord Letters Laws Of Combat Learn From Children Learn From Movies Accident Videos Ad Videos Animal Videos Bloopers Videos General Videos Mature Content Videos Music Videos People Videos Pranks Videos Sports Videos Standup Comedy Stunts Videos Stupid Videos Tricks Videos Learning From Kids Leaving College Legal Truisms Legendary Proverbs Lemon Car Signs Lessons In Logic Lessons Learned Life Mathematics Lifetime Jokes Living In A Flood Los Alamos Secured Los Angeles Exam Love, Lust or Marriage Love Poems Love Tips By Kids M Makes You Go Hmmm Male Wedding Plans Male Wisdom Management Styles Man Perks Man Translations Marketing Analogies Marketing Gone Bad Marriage Is...Marriage Quotes Marriage Secrets Martha Stewart To Do Medieval Pickups Meeting Bingo Men And Dogs Men Are Happier Men Are Like...Men Bashing Jokes Men's Dress Guide Men or Cookie Dough Microsoft Cars Microsoft Restaurant Mind Benders Modern Love Letters Mommy, Mommy!The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.